by Masuo Nezu

These are personal reminiscences about the late founder Rev. Nikkyo Niwano from his former chief secretary, Masuo Nezu, now in retirement. During his years of service, the writer accompanied Rev. Niwano on dissemination tours, interreligious cooperation activities, and peace promotion work, both in Japan and overseas. This series recalls not only heartwarming episodes from the founder's everyday life, but also the spiritual insights derived from his words and deeds.

40

"Be sure to honor and respect the ancestors of the Niwano family"

Hoju Vocational College for women, which is affiliated with Rissho Kosei-kai, conducts a series of training programs in Suganuma, Niigata Prefecture. At the program held in 1996, Tomoko Niwano, the eldest daughter of Founder Nikkyo Niwano, spoke about Suganuma, his birthplace. In speaking to the students, she also told the story of her own marriage, which took place in January of 1947. It was at the time when her mother and the six Niwano children were still living far away from Tokyo, staying at Rev. Niwano's parents' house, where they had been safe from the wartime bombing in the capital. The man that Tomoko married was Kenzo Niwano, a son of another prominent Niwano family--the patrilineal "head" Niwano family in the village of Suganuma (as opposed to the branch from which Rev. Niwano's family stemmed). She was then only 16 years old.

This is the only commemorative picture taken on the wedding day of Kenzo Niwano and Tomoko in January 1947.

"It seemed better for me to get married," Tomoko said modestly, "instead of staying on at my grandparents' house, crowded with so many of my family members." She recalled, "There was a distance of some 200 or 300 meters from where I was living to my future husband's home, and since there was no form of transportation available, I had to trudge through the snow in full traditional bride's kimono."

Rev. Niwano, who was living all alone in Tokyo, where he was totally immersed in religious studies and the early activities of Rissho Kosei-kai, was thus unable to attend her wedding--the first of one of his daughters. The other Niwano family was a very large farming family. Concerned about Tomoko's possible unease in her new family, Rev. Niwano wrote to his beloved daughter, saying in his letter, "Please be sure to honor and respect the ancestors of the Niwano family." (He meant, of course, those of the Niwano family into which she was marrying.)

Later, when she came to Tokyo along with her relatives, Tomoko used to stay at her parents' home for longer periods than any of her siblings. When guests stayed over, and the rooms were all full, it was even the case that Tomoko slept in the same room with her parents. "I called their home 'my family inn,' I remember, and always stayed there," she later said. "Sometimes, half joking, people would say that because of this I seemed to be loved more than my sisters and brothers."

Soon after World War II, when daily necessities were scarce, every time Mrs. Niwano, Tomoko's mother, sewed any new kimono, she also made one for Tomoko. Of course, that may have been because she felt unable to take care of her properly in other ways. Tomoko's youngest sister Yoshiko (Izumida) used to say that because Tomoko married at the age of 16 and had less time with her family than the other children, both parents did their best to spend time with her whenever she came to Tokyo as an adult.

Takao Izumida and Yoshiko were married in the autumn of 1962. "Since I lived with my parents after returning to Tokyo from the wartime evacuation," Yoshiko said, "I was blessed with their special affection, inasmuch as it was then possible for them to do for me what they were unable to do for my elder sister when she was married. When it came time to choose my reception kimono (to change into after the actual wedding ceremony) my father even went to the bridal shop with me to pick out an especially beautiful one, saying, 'This one looks nice.'"

Rev. Nikkyo Niwano (left) thanks the people who saw him off at Tokyo Station in November 1960 as he departed to mark the fifth anniversary of the Niigata Chapter. His third daughter, Yoshiko, accompanied him on the trip.

Since the Great Sacred Hall was then almost completed, some of the money Founder Niwano might have spent on her wedding, he instead donated toward its construction expenses.

Yoshiko once recalled, "During the evacuation period I was afraid we might never return to Tokyo, and I longed for my father to direct more of his attention to us, his family. I even began to doubt his affection for us. I remember writing to him, saying, 'I want to go to a university to become a teacher and then I want to devote myself to caring for my mother. He replied, 'On your way back from your next school field trip, visit me here at headquarters in Tokyo.'"

At the Rissho Kosei-kai headquarters, Mrs. Myoko Naganuma, cofounder of Rissho Kosei-kai, welcomed Yoshiko, serving her a festive meal, as well as offering some gifts for her to take back to her family.

On the morning of her wedding, Yoshiko saluted her father very formally in her bridal attire, saying, "You have taken good care of me all these years. I will always be grateful." This is traditional Japanese etiquette from the daughter who is getting married to her father on her wedding day. Rev. Niwano was barely able to hold back his tears. In his autobiography, he wrote of his sentiments on that occasion.

"I still recall the deep emotional feeling I experienced on hearing those words."

The Izumida home was in Zushi, a Tokyo suburb near shore. Guessing the state of mind of Founder Niwano, both of joy in the marriage of his beloved daughter and loneliness at her leaving, someone close to him seems to have recommended that Rev. Niwano and his wife go to a movie one night--something they seldom did. They saw the famous director Yasujiro Ozu's "Autumn Afternoon," a popular movie that year in which a father experienced his daughter marrying and leaving home. The actor playing the father gave an especially masterful portrayal of his complex emotions. Yoshiko heard about this only later, of course.

"Parental affection, transcending time and place, is equally shared among all their children"--that is how Tomoko and Yoshiko feel about it today.