by Nikkyo Niwano

Self-Esteem

The word conceit is never used in a positive sense. It means excessive pride in one's abilities. Benjamin Franklin, a member of the committee that drafted the American Declaration of Independence, once said something to the effect that no matter how conceited one might be, the conceit of others gets on one's nerves. Since everyone shares that attitude, the word has negative connotations.

Probably everyone feels superior to others in some way. I have a certain amount of conceit myself. But I believe that making it a source of energy for cheerful living is a rather clever way to live. Being conceited or vain means being attached to oneself, affirming oneself, and loving oneself. Therefore, although a puffed-up person may appear foolish, he or she will be able to go through life cheerfully, with a sense of well-being and a positive attitude. Moreover, though at first such an attitude may border on overconfidence, before long one may actually develop genuine self-confidence. I have seen many cases where this has been true. This approach to life not only makes one happy, but also produces radiance and benefits society.

The exact opposite of this is the inferiority complex. Because one depreciates oneself in every conceivable way, one's life is unhappy. Those nearby feel that one is dreary and disagreeable. Since others do not respond favorably and turn their backs, one's sense of inferiority ends up growing more and more acute. When we investigate the origin of this sense of inferiority, we find that it springs from a minor sense of inadequacy. If we feel that we have one or two minor flaws--something to do with personal appearance, figure, health, intelligence, ability, athletic prowess, family, or academic background--that sense of inadequacy can harm our whole attitude. We come to feel completely worthless and end up making ourselves unhappy, with no help from others.

By way of clarification, a sense of inferiority is different from a temporary feeling of self-disgust. When we fail in some way or some meanness arises within us, we feel wretched. But this kind of momentary aversion to oneself is the action of a healthy spirit, the generative power that helps a person become a better human being. An inferiority complex, however, serves only to make one obsequious and cave in.

One of the first astronauts said that our planet looked blue from above. If he had been able to see the over four billion human beings that live on this blue planet, he would surely have seen each one as a similar dot on the face of the earth. Without having to fly as high as a spacecraft, we can climb to the top of a mountain or tall building and see how humans appear as mere dots on the ground below. From that height we cannot distinguish men from women, the wise from the foolish, or the intrepid from the fainthearted. If we place ourselves in their midst we realize that we, too, are just like everyone else. From this more encompassing point of view, we begin to feel that it is useless to fret over trifles, and we begin to be impressed at how energetically everyone is working to get along in life.

Through its subtle workings, nature produces a great variety of human beings. It is because there are so many different people that our world is brought into equilibrium and is so full of interest. How would it be if everyone were made from the same mold with identical facial features, physiques, and capabilities? Admittedly, there might no longer be such a thing as an inferiority complex, but it would be just as well for the human race to be replaced by robots.

Superficially, everyone seems to have unique elements of beauty and ugliness, wisdom and folly, strength and weakness. But deep inside, everyone has the same buddha-nature. One grain of sand, one blade of grass, one single human being: the existence of each of these things has a cause and serves a need. This is a truth beyond refutation. If one gives some thought to this truth, one becomes keenly aware that there is a reason for living, and that one's existence has dignity.

We are apt to be caught up in comparing ourselves with others and in competing with them. Because of that, we become mean-spirited, always conscious that others are judging us. We lose sight of the truth that the gods and buddhas provide us with suitable roles. When we go further awry, we begin to lose confidence and feel inferior.

There is absolutely no one on earth who does not have some special talent and some way of being of service to the world. Discovering what that talent or way of being is and prizing it is extremely important, not only for ourselves, but also for the world at large.

Wisdom is turning conceit that we cannot avoid into a strength.